Let’s talk about sex.
I rarely talk about sex on Trash is for Tossers because it is one of those subjects that people get all weird about which is funny because one of the first questions people ask me is “how do you have sex if you live a Zero Waste life?” A question that I have shamefully, but successfully, ignored for a while now because I didn’t want to divulge my entire sex life on the internet, but whatever, I talk about everything else, why not sex?
Long story short, I have sex. But….I do not have Zero Waste sex. When I sleep with someone, it produces waste. Why? Because I use condoms (learn more about the sustainable sex products that I recommend here!)
But for years, I never purchased condoms myself. I had always expected the guy I was with to have one, and if he didn’t…we didn’t. And I wasn’t alone. Only 40% of all condoms in the US are purchased by women. Now that I am buying them myself, I’ve realized that not all contraception is created equal and the choices that we make when it comes to sex can have real impacts on both our bodies and the planet.
To learn more about the sustainability of my sex life, I sat down with Meika Hollender, the super cool Co-Founder of the sustainable condom company, Sustain, to take about the sustainability of condoms.
Tell me a little about sustain – how did it start, what was the idea?
Our family has a deep history in natural products with Seventh Generation, and I was always involved in different ways with that business, but never worked there full time. Jeffrey Hollender, my dad and boss, had an idea for a sustainable condom company about ten years ago and never pursued it because he was running Seventh Generation.
While I was in business school, I knew that I didn’t want to work in traditional marketing anymore but I was trying to figure out my next steps. At the same time, my dad was working on the business plan for what eventually became Sustain, was consulting with me on the business plan. As I started doing more research for the business plan—about the statistics around reproductive health, how low condom usage rates are among my peers, and just the general need and lack of access that so many women in the US have to reproductive health services—I became more and more passionate about having a larger role in Sustain and the rest is history!
How is it working with your father?
To everyone’s surprise, it’s really been an amazing growth experience for both of us. We have different dynamics but it brings two different perspectives to the business. I’m our target market, I’ve grown up in the digital era, and I know how brands communicate today. He has this wealth of knowledge around sustainability, supply chain, operations, corporate responsibility, and is just a really successful businessman. I think our combined insights and outlooks have really benefited us so far.
Sex was never really something I talked openly about with my dad. Why do you think “the talk” is so difficult for kids and parents?
I think a lot of the tension starts with the parents. For me, my parents were always totally open to talking to us about boys, girls, and our relationships. They were the type of parents that just wanted me to be comfortable and come to them first before having sex to ensure that I was protected and be safe about it. My dad was actually the one that I went to when I was thinking about having sex, and I just told him. It wasn’t a long conversation because we had covered a lot of the bases beforehand, be he wanted to make sure that I knew my options and that it was the right person.
“The talk” has been something for us, in our father-daughter condom business duo, that we are really passionate about. We want to help parents create an environment where kids want to have those conversations with them and feel comfortable doing so. The idea of trying to shield your kids from sex and sexuality is impossible today because of the Internet, but I think trying to do so also sends the wrong message. It’s makes something that is a natural part of life, health, and happiness, feel dangerous and taboo.
I think this is where a lot of the issues that women have around condoms stems from. Not talking about condoms comes from, and fuels, the taboo around sex and contraception in general and it is putting our generation at risk t because we’re not using condoms consistently. Only 19% of single women use condoms regularly and that’s terrible. STD’s are on the rise, AIDS is on the rise in certain communities, but I think it’s the parent’s responsibility to create that safe environment.
I often get asked “How do you have Zero Waste sex?” Truthfully there is no Zero Waste way to have sex without foregoing a condom or protection altogether because all methods of contraception produce waste of some sort. So what options do people have when it comes to safe but sustainable sex?
What a lot of people don’t really know is that latex (what most condoms are made from) is a natural, sustainable resource. Latex is the sap of rubber trees and you don’t harm the tree when you tap the sap (no pun intended).
From a supply chain standpoint, the rubber industry can actually be pretty terrible and dirty. There’s a lot of child labor and really bad working conditions. Because of this, my dad was especially passionate about finding a fair trade certified plantation. The condoms are sourced from the only FSC certified latex plantation in the world, which is in southern India. We’ve guaranteed that 100% of the worker’s children are in school and everyone has free health care. It’s really a nice place and it’s so different from what you’ll find in most of the rubber industry.
Aside from supply chain sustainability, it’s also important to look at product itself. A German study has shown that condoms themselves can contain high levels of nitrosamines, which are known carcinogens that become exposed to the body through heat and moisture, aka during sex. Nitrosamines occur naturally in the manufacturing process when the latex is being heated and molded, but you can add a safe chemical during the manufacturing process to prevent the nitrosamines from occurring—which is something we are extremely adamant about doing at Sustain. We want to ensure that there are no detectable levels of nitrosamines in our condoms.
At Sustain, we also use no toxic dyes or fragrances. A lot of condom companies will use a somewhat toxic odor masker because the smell of latex isn’t amazing—but we choose not to. And we give 10% of our profits to women’s reproductive health services in the US, because over 20 million women lack access to those essential services.
What modes of contraception are more sustainable than others?
At the end of the day, climate change is largely driven by overpopulation and 50% of pregnancies are unintended in the US. That being said, using contraception (whether an IUD, condoms, or the pill) is sustainable because unplanned pregnancy is unsustainable. From a meta and systems thinking standpoint, having children that we can’t feed, that we can’t take care of, and in light of overpopulation, is completely unsustainable.
While I think using our condoms at Sustain are the most sustainable from a supply chain and non-toxic standpoint *shameless plug*, I don’t like to put other forms of contraception down because I think it is important for women to use whatever contraception is more accessible to them.
What’s your goal with Sustain?
We don’t want to point our finger and criticize our competitors—we want to set an example of how you can do business better. You can make more sustainable, healthier, safer products and still be profitable. Our goal is to inspire and lead the condom industry in the right direction.
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SO there. We did it, we talked about sex. We made it. Takeaways? Protect yourself. Have fun. Be mindful. Use protection. Remember everything that you buy, even condoms, has an impact and you as a consumer can be powerful and make a choice to 1) be informed and 2) buy better.
While we do not offer Sustain Condoms, we do have other sustainable sex products at Package Free. And in case you’re interested, here is my Guide to Sustainable Sex!
28 comments
U brave gurl
Thank you Trig 😉
Woohoo, I can throw out (I mean empty) my jar of used condoms finally. Always a conversation starter with my lady friends.
Hahahhahaha yep – or you could keep them forever? Your choice.
Thank you so much for writing this Lauren. I know it surely wasn't easy, as it's a topic that I've avoided talking about for a while too. It's just crazy to me that in this day and age, there aren't reusable condoms. Sure, it might not be as thin or feel as amazing, but it would be great to feel good while we're feeling good.
Seriously, high fives and hugs for writing this. We so need this conversation to be out there so there can be further positive change for our world. Because we have to be honest. Saving the planet is awesome, but orgasms are too.
Hey Alex, thank YOU for commenting. It really is interesting how sex isn't talked about as much in terms of sustainability. It should be. It is the most intimate thing we do, we should really be conscious of how we are doing it. haha
Challenge: Reusable condom. Ready, GO!
Lauren
Great tips! Thanks for addressing this topic.
Hey Stephanie,
Thank you! I am really happy that you liked it. I think sustainability and sex should totally be discussed more often!
Thanks for writing,
Lauren
Wow! Super fascinating, and I've always wanted to know how or if sustainable sex was possible, but was always too embarrassed to ask. So glad you not only shed a ton of light on this important and interesting situation, but thank you for also attempting to eliminate the stigma attached to discussing sex in general. Safe sex is always best practices, but safe sex of the future is also sustainable safe sex. Bravo!
Katherine —-
Thank you soooo much for this comment. You're the best. Made me so happy! I'm glad you liked the post!
Lauren
This post is amazing on so many levels. Why is talking about sex so taboo in this country?! You're the bomb for writing about this and I'm excited to try these condoms! I have used Sir Richards (Expo West freebies anyone?!) and it's awesome to know there are other sustainable options out there. On a side note, apparently coconut oil is great as lube (for anyone looking for lube..). Have never tried it though 😛
Hi Kate,
Thank you SO MUCH! I will definitely share some with you- and I have some giveaways coming up! PS, have totally used coconut oil as lube, and massage oil, oh I also use it as body lotion, in my toothpaste, deodorant, and when I cook kale – so best thing EVER!?
XX
Lauren
Thanks so much for bringing awareness to a very important topic! You've got balls girl! ;D PUN INTENDED. What are your thoughts on ladycomp or other fertility monitors? I don't have one myself, but in my own search for sustainable contraceptives I came across this thing (I know, it's a plastic device….but) where you essentially monitor your cycles and in this way become attuned to when you are ovulating, and thus at your most fertile state…and avoid having sex on those days. It's crazy expensive but maybe it's a worthwhile investment? Condoms have a "perfect use" failure rate of 2 whilst basal body temp / cervical mucus fertility awareness has a "perfect use" rate of 0.6…. Have any of you out there tried this? Curious!
Hi Victoria,
I've actually never heard of any of this! I'm so excited to research and learn more!! thank YOU for educating me 🙂
Lauren
Hi guys, Try NaturalCycle. I have used it for over a year now and love it. Around $70 a year. B
Great subject! We should all be more aware about how the products we use are made, they may look like they are good for us and the environment with packaging and such and turns out the company is pouring sludge into our waste water systems or poisoning the air and ground around us.
I'm also proud that you are making a conscious choice. I've worked in low income schools for over 18 years. I've seen many children who are treated no better than trash.
Thank you so much for your comment!
You know i'am a man but i thought about this too: (Cause i love love)
The 2 cheapest and most healthy ways to have sex is:
1) having sex for children, so you don't need contraception. But let's be serious here.
2) The "billings ovulation method" combined with "temperature measurement". Best natural method available. No harm to the body. It's also wasteless If you buy a reuseable device and learn to repair it after some years 😉 Safer than a condom cause there is no wrong way to use it the moment it's needed the most. But you have to be able to trust your partner to have no STD's. So you have to stop fucking around for environment and start to love. 😉 Somehow i loved to say this…
Hi Viktor,
It's awesome that you responded to this post – also love the love of love!!!
Thank you for your comment 🙂
Hi Lauren,
There IS an (almost) waste-free method; the Fertility Awareness method. You just have to buy a good digital thermometer. (Mine is 10 years old and it hasn't even needed a new battery.)
Check out Katie Singers book the Garden of Fertility. I see someone else mentioned it too but thought I would chime in and say it worked for me! Of course, it's not for everyone. You can't have sex on days when you are fertile, so it requires a lot of patience and/or creativity. Might be perfect for you! p.s. I would not trust condoms as 2 of my friends got pregnant while using condoms.
I hadn't thought about the sex component, but I did wonder about floss and tampons/pads….
The solution for no monthly waste is a menstrual cup. I've used one for about 6 years & have saved myself a small fortune.
What options are there for those allergic to latex.
I just found out vegan (Glyde) and fair trade (fair squared) condoms exist. Truly happy with that since chemicals are not for pussies! And now I stumble upon this blog post. What a funny coincidence.
However the tips given for having sex in a monogamous relationship and not wanting to get pregnant, I'll stick to the condoms instead of measuring my temperature or calculating my cycle. Condoms are still better (both for the environment as for my health) than getting pregnant. I would love it if my partner would get a vasectomy, but he's still shy about it. And doctors still think I'm too young myself (30) to get one.
There was so much good information in here! I definitely learned a lot. The comments section is educational as well; very interesting to hear other people's contraception methods. Thank you for this article and everything you do, lauren.
However, I did think you would have been a little more comfortable talking about sex on this blog considering your such a natural, earth-connected person. The way the whole article was phrased seemed like you felt awkward about the conversation, whereas I would have expected to sex to be discussed casually, as its part of life and ecosystems and all that. and since when have you cared what society thinks, your entire blog is based off having a progressive mindset. whatever, that just surprised me a little, but keep it up I love everything you do, really!
become a lesbian – problem solved! 😀
I love this article and agree that Sustain condoms seem like the best choice for single people looking to mingle 😉 I hope Sustain and other brands will continue striving for more sustainable packaging that can either be recycled or composted some day. Personally I'm married and in a committed, monogamous relationship. We have used the fertility awareness method for 2 years with success and enjoy it as a no-waste, no chemicals, no hormone alternative to conventional birth control. Recently we decided to have a child and the fertility awareness method made conceiving quick and easy- the second month of trying we became pregnant. It was easy because I knew exactly what to look for and when the timing was right! While we haven't currently decided whether to replace ourselves with 2 more humans, or reduce our impact by only creating 1, when we do make that choice I think the most sustainable birth control will be permanent choices of either a vasectomy or tubal ligation. I love that this no-impact lifestyle is be talked about and applied to different parts of everyone's lives though! There is room for thinking about our impact and the environment in all topics including sex and family-planning! Thanks for getting this conversation started.